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By Bananaking – HistoryGoneBananas
Setting Sail: Norman Cruise Lines (1066 Edition)
William’s army finally caught the right winds after weeks of standing around, polishing armor, and asking, “So when exactly do we conquer England again?”
The “fleet” was hundreds of wooden ships—packed tighter than a medieval Ryanair flight—holding knights, horses, weapons, and enough frustration to fuel an entire war.
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Life Onboard: Rough Seas and Rougher Smells
Horses weren’t built for boats. The seas got messy fast.
Knights played dice to pass the time—losing the pieces through deck cracks turned it into England’s first drinking game.
Sailors whispered that England was cursed. (Turns out they were right, just ask anyone dealing with the Normans’ new taxes after 1066.)
William the CEO of Thrones
William wasn’t just a duke—he was a man convinced the throne of England was legally his. Harold Godwinson disagreed. Since there was no LinkedIn in the 11th century, William had to submit his “claim” using armed men on boats. Problem-solving, medieval style.
Lessons for History Lovers
For historians, this shows the logistics nightmare of medieval warfare.
For geeks and enthusiasts, it’s a reminder battles are won not just on fields, but in supply chains, weather, and politics.
For everyday readers, it’s proof history is full of human chaos—bad planning, annoyed soldiers, and very seasick livestock.
What Came Next
The Channel crossing led directly to the climactic Battle of Hastings, where Harold got an arrow in the eye, William took the crown, and English history took a dramatic French turn forever.
Why We Write About It
History isn’t dusty dates—it’s full of slapstick, absurdity, and human drama. William’s “cruise to England” wasn’t just about conquest, it was about chance, stubbornness, and a ton of seasick horses.
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