In partnership with
Ever complained about your internet provider acting like they own the place? Imagine if they actually did. Welcome to the golden age of corporate colonialism, where companies didn’t just sell you stuff—they taxed you, arrested you, and sometimes even declared war on your neighbors. Yes, really. But let’s hear from our sponsor for today:
A Private Circle for High-Net-Worth Peers
Long Angle is a private, vetted community for high-net-worth entrepreneurs, executives, and professionals across multiple industries. No membership fees.
Connect with primarily self-made, 30-55-year-olds ($5M-$100M net worth) in confidential discussions, peer advisory groups, and live meetups.
Access curated alternative investments like private equity and private credit. With $100M+ invested annually, leverage collective expertise and scale to capture unique opportunities.
The British East India Company: Monopoly, Mayhem, and Masala
Let’s start with the British East India Company—the OG corporate overlord. Picture this: a bunch of British merchants show up in India for some spicy deals, and next thing you know, they’re running the joint. After winning the Battle of Plassey in 1757 (think: boardroom coup with cannons), the EIC started collecting taxes, running courts, and even fielding its own private army. It was like if Walmart decided to take over Texas, but with more elephants and fewer rollback prices.
They didn’t just trade tea—they were the government. Want to see a real “company town”? Try the entire Indian subcontinent. The EIC even had its own flag, and if you didn’t pay your taxes, you might get a visit from the world’s most polite (and heavily armed) accountants.
The Dutch East India Company: Spices, Forts, and Corporate Swag
The Dutch East India Company (VOC) saw the British and said, “Hold my tulip.” The Dutch government gave them the right to trade, make deals, build forts, and even wage war. In Indonesia, the VOC’s governor-general was basically the CEO of Java, running the show with a mix of bureaucracy, military muscle, and a keen eye for nutmeg profits.
They minted their own coins, signed treaties, and had a navy that would make any Bond villain jealous. If you think your HOA is strict, try living under the VOC—where the fine for breaking the rules might involve actual pirates.
Hudson’s Bay Company: Fur, Forts, and the World’s Chillest Monopoly
Meanwhile, in the frosty north, the Hudson’s Bay Company (HBC) was handed all the land draining into Hudson Bay—millions of square kilometers of prime beaver territory. Instead of armies, they built a network of trading posts and partnered with Indigenous peoples to corner the fur market. The HBC didn’t need to conquer; they just out-traded everyone. Imagine Amazon Prime, but with snowshoes and muskets.
Not Just a British and Dutch Thing: The Corporate Colonial All-Stars
Think the Brits and Dutch had a monopoly on monopolies? Think again! Here are some other corporate conquerors who made history weird:
Dutch West India Company: Ran New York (back when it was New Amsterdam), fought pirates, and dabbled in the Atlantic slave trade. Their HR department must’ve been wild.
Royal African Company: England’s answer to “how can we make the slave trade even more corporate?” They built forts, ran armies, and made a killing (literally and financially).
French East India Company: France’s attempt to get in on the Asian action. They set up trading posts, hired armies, and tried to outdo the British at their own game (spoiler: didn’t end well).
British South Africa Company: Cecil Rhodes’ personal empire—think Silicon Valley, but with more diamonds and fewer hoodies.
Royal Niger Company: Controlled Nigeria before it was cool (or, you know, a country).
International African Association: King Leopold II’s “philanthropic” company that turned the Congo into a corporate horror story.
What Can History Buffs and Capitalism Connoisseurs Learn?
If you’re a historian, history geek, or just someone who enjoys a good boardroom brawl with actual swords, these stories are a goldmine. They show how private companies shaped the world, for better or (usually) much, much worse. From tax systems to legal codes, and even the borders of modern countries, these megacorps left a legacy that’s still with us.
Plus, it’s a cautionary tale: next time your favorite app starts acting like it owns you, just remember—it could be worse. They could have their own navy.
Did you enjoy this trip through history’s weirdest boardrooms? Want more tales of capitalism gone bananas?
Help us keep the past alive (and hilarious) at historygonebananas!
Subscribe to our newsletter for more wild stories delivered straight to your inbox.
Follow us on social media for memes, hot takes, and historical hijinks.
Share this article with your fellow history nerds and let’s make sure the world never forgets the time when companies literally ran the world.
Because history isn’t just about kings and queens—it’s about CEOs, too.