In partnership with
Thermopylae, Greece — August (ish), 480 BC
Today in history — about 2,500 years ago — the narrow mountain pass of Thermopylae became the stage for one of the most famous last stands in human history. It’s the stuff epics are made of: King Leonidas I, 300 Spartan warriors, a few thousand Greek allies, and a whole lot of determination… versus the Persian Empire’s King Xerxes I and what ancient sources claim was a ridiculous 120,000 — maybe even 300,000 soldiers.
(Modern historians debate those numbers, but hey, “millions” sounds better when you’re trying to hype up your own battle record.)
But before we get to the nitty gritty, let’s hear from today’s sponsor:
Institutional-Grade Opportunities for HNW Investors
Long Angle is a private, vetted community connecting high-net-worth entrepreneurs and executives with institutional-grade alternative investments. No membership fees.
Access top-tier opportunities across private equity, credit, search funds, litigation finance, energy, hedge funds, and secondaries. Leverage collective expertise and scale for better terms.
Invest alongside pensions, endowments, and family offices. With $100M+ invested annually, secure preferential terms unavailable to individual investors.
How the Drama Went Down 🎭
Picture it: a narrow pass, rocky cliffs on one side, the Aegean Sea on the other. Perfect for funneling a huge enemy army into a very small choke point. Leonidas and his ragtag Greek alliance block the road like medieval bouncers at the coolest hoplite nightclub in town.
For two straight days, the Persians threw themselves at the wall of shields and spears — and kept getting turned away. The Greeks fought with discipline, strategy, and the kind of upper body strength you just can’t fake. Casualties on the Persian side? Let’s just say “plenty” — and then some.
But on Day Three, disaster struck when a treacherous local showed the Persians a side path around the pass. Squeezed from both sides, Leonidas and his 300 Spartans made their famous last stand while the remaining Greek forces retreated to fight another day. Cue slow-motion hero shots and dramatic speeches.
Why It Still Rocks (and What History Nerds Can Learn)
Historians and history geeks agree: Thermopylae wasn’t just a loss. It was a bold delay tactic — one that gave the rest of Greece time to regroup and set up for victories at Salamis and Plataea.
Things the battle teaches us:
Tactics beat numbers… at least for a while. Use the terrain to your advantage, kids.
Courage is contagious. Courage under impossible odds can inspire entire nations.
Sacrifice changes history. Even a “loss” can light the fire for a bigger win down the road.
And of course… never trust a guy who offers to “show you a shortcut.”
From Myth to Meme
The 300 Spartans’ epic stand gave birth to a meme empire rivaled only by cat videos and “This is Sparta!” kicks. From internet memes to hilarious TikTok reenactments with Assassin’s Creed vibes, this battle lives rent-free in the internet’s heart.
Yes, history can be funny. Picture cats as Spartan warriors, modern martial artists reenacting the fight with slow-mo kicks, and memes shouting “This is Thermopylae!” as if it were a now-viral catchphrase.
Even the battle’s lessons are repeated with cheeky reminders: "When in doubt, shield wall it out"; or “Thermopylae: where one narrow pass ruined Xerxes’ day.”
💬 Call to Action for Fellow History Bananas
If you love bizarre, epic, and occasionally silly takes on history, don’t just read — join the madness!
📜 Subscribe to HistoryGoneBananas for more "On This Day" fun
📱 Follow us on our socials for your daily dose of ancient gossip and memes
📩 Sign up for our newsletter before Xerxes gets here (seriously, he’s on the march…)
Meta Note for the SEO Gods: Today in history, Battle of Thermopylae 480 BC, King Leonidas, 300 Spartans, Greek vs Persian War, heroic last stands, famous history memes, This is Sparta jokes.