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By BananaKing, Official Keeper of Silly Timelines
Ah, September 1, 1535—the day Jacques Cartier, the French navigator with a killer beard and questionable travel plans, finally rolled up to Hochelaga, a lively St. Lawrence Iroquoian settlement right where modern‑day Montreal now stands.
Imagine it: Cartier sails down the St. Lawrence River after weeks of ship snacks (probably stale biscuits and something that might have been cheese once), stumbles onto this bustling village, and is greeted by locals who generously show him around. He marvels at fields of maize, strong palisades, and well‑built homes—basically, an Indigenous master class in urban planning. Meanwhile, his sailors probably just marveled that they weren’t eating dried cod for the 500th day in a row.
Cartier being Cartier, he immediately saw Hochelaga as a place worth taking note of—though “taking note” in the 16th century often translated into “France will take it eventually.” Did anyone actually ask the people living there? Absolutely not. Colonialism: the ultimate unwelcome houseguest. But unlike Cartier, with the dawn of AI, we must welcome it, and learn, our sponsor today teaches about AI:
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What Historians, History Geeks, and Curious Humans Can Learn Today 🧐
From the historians’ corner: Cartier’s writings give us a rare peek at Indigenous life in the St. Lawrence Valley before Europeans really settled in.
For the history geeks: This is a prime example of cultural collision—Cartier saw fertile land, while Hochelaga was already thriving with complex social and agricultural systems.
For the everyday history‑curious crowd: Montreal’s nickname “la belle ville” had roots long before hipster coffee shops and hockey rivalries—the land was already beautiful, structured, and full of stories.
So the next time you’re in Montreal eating poutine and wondering why there are so many festivals, remember: it all goes back to a French sailor barging into Hochelaga and writing it down for the history books.
BananaKing’s Takeaway 🍌
History is messy, hilarious, tragic, and absolutely worth sharing. Cartier’s arrival at Hochelaga wasn’t just a random pit stop—it was a turning point in the long, complicated story of Montreal. And yes, dear reader, it’s a story that still shapes the city we know today.
✉️ Help History Go Bananas!
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Until tomorrow’s historical banana peel, this is BananaKing signing off! 🍌👑