History’s Most Dysfunctional Royal Families
From the Habsburgs to the Ptolemies, history’s royal families were chaotic, violent, petty, and shockingly unqualified for family therapy.
INTRO — ROYALTY IS JUST “FAMILY DRAMA” WITH A MURDER BUDGET
People think royal families are classy.
They imagine:
elegant banquets
political wisdom
noble traditions
No.
Absolutely not.
Royal families were hyper-wealthy reality TV stars with armies.
They fought, schemed, married badly, made disastrous decisions, and occasionally destroyed entire empires because one cousin had beef with another cousin.
Today’s targets:
The Habsburgs — Europe’s inbreeding champions
The Ptolemies — professional sibling murderers
And a few runner-ups who definitely needed therapy more than thrones
Let’s begin.
