After 1066 — How England Lost Its Identity (and Its Accent)
When French invaders conquered England’s castles, culture, and vocabulary — and left behind a thousand-year identity crisis.
By BananaKing, the Silly Historian Who Spells “Colour” With Existential Dread
In 1066, William the Conqueror didn’t just take the crown — he took the dictionary.
The Battle of Hastings didn’t end on the battlefield; it went on inside every English word. Overnight, your lunch became dîner, your cow became beef, and your language developed a lifelong inferiority complex. 🇫🇷➡️🇬🇧
Before 1066, the English language was a tough Anglo-Saxon stew — all muscle, no garnish.
Then came the Normans with their fancy sauce and feudal vocabulary. Suddenly, peasants sweated while nobles perspired. The upper class didn’t just rule; they spoke in italics.
English wasn’t defeated — it was remodeled. What began as conquest turned into centuries of class cosplay. The aristocracy pretended to be French, the peasants stayed Germanic, and everyone else just developed passive-aggressive politeness to cope.
A Thousand Years of Accent Anxiety
Even Shakespeare wasn’t immune. The man who invented half the English language still snuck in French just to sound fancier. The result? An identity crisis so deep that even the Queen sounds like she’s trying to hide it.
Centuries later, England built the British Empire — perhaps to overcompensate. If you can’t win at home, colonize abroad. Empire was therapy: unhealthy, global, and gloriously awkward.
What Historians (and Recovering Anglophiles) Can Learn
• Language is trauma with good grammar.
• Cultural identity isn’t conquered in battle — it’s edited in conversation.
• Every empire starts as an overreaction to insecurity.
Britain never truly stopped being the awkward teenager of Europe — caught between pride and pronunciation. So if you’ve ever ordered croissant and pronounced the “t,” congratulations — you’re continuing a thousand-year-old civil war. 🥐🇬🇧
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FAQ
Why did the Normans invade England?
Because William promised he’d be king — and he wasn’t great at taking no for an answer.
How much French is in English today?
Over 60 percent of modern English words come from French roots. The rest are what you mutter when autocorrect changes “colour” to “color.”
Did English people actually resist the French?
Linguistically? Not really. Socially? Constantly. Hence why “French” still feels like a compliment and an insult at the same time.
What can history buffs learn?
That identity crises make for fantastic stories — and that national pride often starts as a linguistic hangover.